– Your soul, silly.
I’m only interested in seeing your pussy after you showed me your soul. Show me all its beauty, show me where it hurts and I’ll make you feel safe and warm.
All that super kinky stuff is cool, but not unless it is rooted deeply in something far more important. Not unless you let me give you at least as much as you’re giving me. I want to be able to touch you in places you’ve never been touched before, and that requires real nakedness, not just getting undressed.
Be transparent for me and I’ll show you genuine caring, love and commitment. I’ll give you structure, rules and my dominance, but I’ll also share my world with you. All the books, all the music, all the art and everything I’m passionate about. These are the things that can make our journey together truly wonderful.
I’m going to force you to go to sleep at a reasonable time. Hit you with sensible adjustments to your diet. Smash that self loathing into a million pieces. Break those self destructive habits. Im going to care for you more deeply than anyone looking from the outside can fathom possible.
Because, even though its not going to set Tumblr ablaze with titillation, it is what being in charge involves 90% of the time.
Treasure those that put themselves in your hands and you will both get so much more from the dynamic.
Would you like to try Juno?
If you are reading this, maybe you aren’t a denial slut. Maybe you read the blog, but make yourself cum to simply the fantasy of being denied. Maybe you’ve considered trying it, but are too afraid. Maybe you just need a push. I am here to tell you that you should be a denial slut. And here is why.
I wasn’t a denial slut a year ago.
I’d been following the blog, yes, of course. And I had tried denial with ex-boyfriends, but never more than a few days. I knew it turned me on, but I had never done it properly.
And then James started Juno.
It was an impulsive decision: I wanted to see if it turned me on, i wanted to see if I could do it, i wanted to see what would happen if I pushed myself. It was silly, and careless.
But I wasn’t a denial slut. I wasn’t yet convinced that not cumming was better – only that not cumming would make cumming better. I was unreasonably horny after only three days. And after five days, I gave up, and I came. And I confessed to James, in private.
I thought that would be the end of it. I wished denial was something I was into, but, I said then, “maybe I’m just not cut out for long-term denial”. He was kind, patient, understanding. He told me he was proud of me. He asked me if I wanted to try again. I said yes. He asked me if he could help me try again. I said “i would like that, sir”.
The rest, I suppose, is history, and outlined in the other posts on my blog. I ended up not coming for more than a month. After that first orgasm he allowed me, I even ended up not coming for more than two months.
And now, I haven’t had an orgasm in five weeks. It was my birthday this week, and i was allowed to cum. Just once. Just one orgasm, after weeks of edging and begging and looking forward to it.
And I edged, and I cried, and I whined –
And then I ruined it.
All I can say is how incredibly kind, patient and caring James has always been. Over the year, we became friends, and things happened – horrible things. We’ve both gone through a lot. But from the vanilla conversations, to the things I research for him, or the advice he offers me, or the cruellest conversations where I cry and he encourages me, I have always been grateful. I wouldn’t be where I am now without him, without Juno, and that is a good thing.
And yes, now, I am a denial slut. I know that not cumming is better, although I still get desperate for that rare orgasm. I still beg. I still cry when he tells me no. A year ago, I said “maybe long-term denial isn’t for me”. But in a way, although I’ve been allowed to cum relatively often, I have now been denied for a year. My orgasms aren’t mine: he gives them to me, sometimes sparingly, sometimes generously. But I always ask.
And that is how it is supposed to be. I have found my place, and it is at someone’s mercy. And whatever else happens, this knowledge keeps me safe, and it makes me happy, and it makes me unbearably, impossibly wet.
And it is what Juno could do for you, too.
(now please can I cum, Sir?)
What a gifted Edging Evangelist…
JuNO. It’s coming.
You won’t be.
Watch out for details, right here.
I just reposted my piece “The Safeword Minefield.” I’d suggest the two of you read it together. She needs to rethink how she approaches safewording.
Wow, is it just me, but WTF DUDE?!?!?!?
Let me get this straight, you set out to deliberately drive your submissive to her safeword? That was your purpose?
I have no idea how impact is integrated into your relationship, but if it’s used for punishment you probably just destroyed whatever trust she has in your justice. If it’s done for maintenance (for her needs, not yours), then you likely undermined your ability to provide for her. If it’s done for her sexual arousal as well as yours, what do you think happens the next time you tell her to assume the position? If it’s solely for your sexual arousal, a gift she lovingly gives to you, I’m back to WTF DUDE!!
If your submissive has an issue trusting you enough to safeword, you NEED to do some trust building BEFORE you engage in anything risky (like 50 strikes with a belt). No wonder she’s “too scared.”
Holy moly! No submissive should, for whatever reasons, be afraid to use her safeword. The rest I have on my mind has been already mentioned. So I stop here. But still that makes me… speechless.
I’m going to step in here and defend anon a bit.
I occasionally push a sub to a point where I expect them to use a safeword. This is for both of our safety.
If as in the OP the sub is so worried to disappoint that they won’t use a safeword then it’s simply not doing its job. Making them do it on purpose is like testing the brakes are safe in your car, not something you just want to reply on when you’re really driving outside of controlled conditions.
The difference however, and a big tip for safe play, is I tell them up front I’ll occasionally do this, on purpose. I describe it like a safety check, that we are both confident about safeword use.
This is, frankly, a great strategy because just the act of saying ‘I’ll take you to a place I’d expect you to safeword sometimes’ you eliminate the problem anon’s sub has. That’s because if they know that you’re sometimes doing it to check they will use a safeword they will always feel much better about using it. It almost completely removes that inhibition. And if, when you do that, or they just safeword anyway, you always congratulate them on it and tell them you’re proud they did, they’ll soon feel completely comfortable with using them, and you can play safely in the knowledge they are empowered the way a safeword should.
If you combine this with the whole idea of ‘Green’ as a positive safeword for expressing they are okay, and as a way for you to show you’re checking if they want to safeword, you’re really covering a lot of the bases of what can go wrong with using them.
There are so many situations in which “trust your gut” is appropriate. But the most important and unerring gut check that everyone, both subs and Doms, should always trust is:
“Does having this person in my life make me feel better or worse about myself? Does having this person in my life make me a better person or less of a person? Does having this person in my life make me feel more genuinely me, or like I’m trying to be something I’m not in order to please that person?”